You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
