What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
