Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
"it" just moved
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
