Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
