my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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