this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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