I bet he comes in French.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
