Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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