There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
