She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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