You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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