I wanna passion pit in your ass
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
