Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
