like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
