Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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