shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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