I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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