We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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