we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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