His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
