Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
