Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
