I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
