paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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