Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize