CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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