I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
