I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
