the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
pray to the hookup gods
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
