just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
