I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i dont even know how to be here
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you inspire me to be a worse person
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
