..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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