idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Your tits are I can't wait for
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
