remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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