So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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