We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
