Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
