I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
