Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
