Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
