You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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