And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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