Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
