why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
