a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The Olympian is in my bed
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
