Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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