If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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