the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
