Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
