The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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