So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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