check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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