is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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