So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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