her vagine was all disorganized.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize